


I Miss You.

by serendipitys



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Confession, Crying Phil, Fluff, Jealous Dan, M/M, aAA IDK WHAT ARE TAGS WTF, but not really haha, mentioned smut, sads, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:43:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6537364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipitys/pseuds/serendipitys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's missing , Phil's crying; How does this tale end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Miss You.

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this on tumblr too so :-)  
> the ending's shitty this was kinda rushed im s orry mother

 

Dan couldn't stand it .

He couldn't stand it whenever she wrapped her arms around his waist as if he was _hers ._ The way she kissed him lovingly , the way she nuzzled against him like he was her world . Every single intimate action she did , he hated it . She acted as if Phil was her own.

Because he wasn't .

Phil was Dan's .

Thing was , he _wasn't ._

She had every right to do whatever she wanted . Phil _was_ hers when in reality .

Dan hated it . Hated it how Phil wasn't _his_ instead .

Was he jealous? Jealous that she'll take Phil away from him _forever?_ Or was he envious that she had Phil and he didn't? Territorial too , perhaps. But Phil was _never_ his; and that's the harsh reality he had to face everyday .

Needless to say , Dan couldn't stand it . She visited almost _every_ single day , acting as if the place was hers and she was always welcome . In Phil's case , _of course_ she was ; her being his girlfriend and all that . But in Dan's point of view , she wasn't . She was so nosy , obnoxious and always drove Dan away . Dan knew that she didn't like him , coming from all the glares she'd shoot him and whatnot . He _knew_ she wanted to drive Dan away so she could have Phil all to herself . Phil , on the other hand , merely shrugged it off , oblivious to his girlfriend's antics.

Today was worse . They were on the couch , making out passionately as if there wasn't another person in the room . Phil's arms were draped around her waist whilst her slender arms pulled him closer by wrapping them around his neck . Her eyes opened to see if Dan was seeing this , and _damn right_ he was . She pulled him closer , kissing him with even more passion as if she was making Dan jealous on purpose .

And goddamn , he was .

Didn't this girl know that she was _hurting_ him? That she had stolen the only person that mattered to him so much ? What were this girl's intentions , what was she trying to do? Was she possibly attempting to tear his friendship with Phil? Was she trying to erase the _and_ in the _Dan and Phil?_ Because god _fucking_ damnit , she was .

It was the Dan _and_ Phil shop . The Dan _and_ Phil app . The Dan _and_ Phil book , the Dan _and_ Phil tour . It was the Dan _and_ Phil everything . You couldn't know Dan without knowing Phil and vice versa . They were like a spoon and fork; they were partners for _life_. They've already established that for at least 7 years .

But it was only a brand , wasn't it? What if there _never_ really was a Dan _and_ Phil?

Was he going to break that all because of one girl?

He couldn't take this anymore .

If this girl wanted Dan out , so be it . She wins . The pain in his chest was unbearable .

-

Light .

Same old boring ceiling .

As soon as Phil woke up , he knew that something was wrong . He didn't know what it exactly was , but something in his gut told him that something _was_ wrong . Something in his gut told him that he should run into Dan's room to check on him . Something told him that there's something wrong that involved his best friend , Dan Howell.

He and Dan have been friends for who knows how long . Their fans could probably tell the tale of how Dan and Phil started , it was crazy . Dan was a special person . He was his biggest fan _(_ he's said it himself ; quote ' _I'm Phil trash #1 '_ _)_ , the person who has supported him ever since the beginning of his career , the friend that always stood by his side no matter what . Needless to say , Dan was one of the most important people in his life . No , scratch that , Dan was _the_ most important person in his life. Nothing could ever replace his friendship with Dan.

" Dan _?_ " The black haired man called out , peeking in Dan's room . There was no one there . Usually , he'd see a heavy sleeping Dan- Cuddling in his duvet as he hugged that Haru pillow of his . He's been acting gloomier than usual- Was it because of his girlfriend? Phil didn't know . He hoped Dan knew that he loved _him_ more than her .

Phil wasn't going to lie . Sure , he _loved_ his girlfriend , he wouldn't toy with her feelings . Her confidence and personality was what he liked about her , but he wouldn't say he truly _loved_ her . He figured that their relationship would inevitably end . Those butterflies were _never_ present in his stomach , but he didn't really want to break up with her immediately . Time can wait , perhaps .

Little did he know , he loved _Dan._ He didn't want to be with anyone else _forever_ but Dan . He didn't want to move out without Dan , didn't want to continue on life without _Dan._ He just loved that boy a little too much .

Dan wasn't in his room that's for sure . He ran to the kitchen , Dan wasn't there either . Worry was starting to crawl up his system , Dan didn't leave without Phil's permission . Usually , he'd tell him- It's not like he'd leave without a reason , right?

Office? No Dan.

Hallway? No Dan.

Lounge? No Dan.

He scurried off to the dining table , hoping that Dan would be there . But he wasn't . There was only a piece of paper atop the table . The writing was slightly obscure , as if the person who was writing it was either shivering or crying.

_Hey._

_You seem pretty attached to that girlfriend of yours . Y'know what? Just make her move to my room , therefore you both live together already . Communication will be easier and whatnot . Everything will be easier . Hell , sleep in the same room for all I care . You seem to really love her and I don't want to be some fraction bar in your love . Just be with her already . She seems better than your friend , anyway . You don't even care that she throws me dirty looks . It's obvious she wants me out , so there . Don't want her uncomfortable now , wouldn't we?_

_Long story short , moved out . I'll be living alone now . Hey , look on the bright side , you're **still** living with someone. 'Cept it's with the person you love the most._

_Dan._

As blue eyes read the note , his instincts immediately took his phone . With shaky fingers , he dialed his number- Praying that he'd answer back.

It's an understanding that Dan was one who gets jealous or envious easily . But this was too much. He was overreacting; moving out was redundant . He didn't even love _her_ more than he loved Dan! Did he possibly think that his love life was more important than their friendship? _No !_ Impossible ! That was _preposterous ._ Dan , however , didn't dare to reply . He didn't pick up his phone , didn't call back or whatever.

_Phil Lester is calling._

Dan could see the words flash on his phone at the corner of his eye . He was at some hotel Phil didn't know , pretty much _far away_ from their flat . He didn't want to call back , he didn't want to see Phil either . Call him a baby for overreacting , sure . But he couldn't stand the sight of Phil in the arms of someone else but _him._ He was jealous and envious , but you can't blame him.

It wasn't Dan's fault he was in love with his best friend.

-

_15 missed calls._

_50 messages._

_70 Twitter DMs._

_30 Tumblr IMs , 20 Tumblr asks._

_45 Unread messages on Skype ,_

_All ending with the same 3 words ; I miss you._

Phil was going crazy. He was so _damn_ desperate to communicate with Dan . He knew he could talk it down with him ! That is if he let him talk to him . Even his damn girlfriend broke up with him despite his desperation to hear Dan's voice. She told him that he didn't even _like_ him anyway , only wanted him for his fame . She said it was obvious he loved someone else.

Phil's mind was too busy with Dan to get hurt by her lies . He just wanted to talk to Dan , to see him again . The pain in his chest was so damn _heavy ,_ he couldn't explain it . Why do we only notice how important things are when they're _gone?_

He just wanted to see Dan again . The following nights were sleepless , he couldn't sleep knowing that Dan wasn't in the other room all safe and sound . Knowing that he didn't reply to any of his messages , he feared that he might have been _dead._ No ! He can't be dead , he can't be! Phil wouldn't be able to accept _that_ cruel reality ! He can't be dead , right? He isn't- No . _No no no no , calm yourself , Phil._

He didn't reply to any of his messages . His heart was heavy . Following nights were just him sobbing , crying , worried for Dan. He just loved Dan so _damn_ much , he's lost words to describe the pain . He hated living alone . Hated living without _Dan ._ Where is he?

Dan's missing , Phil's crying . How will this tale end _?_

-

_50 Messages from Phil Lester_

_Dan , where are you? Why did you leave? Dan? Please , I miss you ._

_Dan please let's talk abotu this please please please I miss you_

_dan i can't do this please imiss you_

_dan plse talk tot me i tcnat do this anymroe_

_dan i can t do this dan i amis syou so much adn pls_

_dan . . i miss you_

_i miss you so much bear_

_please weve broken up please come back home i miss you_

_dan plae ase i mssi you so dman mchu_

_d an it hurt s knwonig that yuo aretn in the othre rmoo dan i msis oyu_

_dna at leats tlee me you re okay o hgmydo i miss you_

_dan_

_dan_

_an . . . pl ease_

_i miss you._

Dan immediately exited the window , not wanting to read further . He couldn't do it . Did he really do the right thing? Why was he so stupid? Why did he even leave in the first place?

_No. I don't want to come back._

Even the damn fandom was questioning their strange behavior . Most have mentioned them in their tweets , tumblr posts and whatnot- All inquiring the same question; Why weren't they uploaded anything? Why weren't they tweeting anything? Why weren't they doing _anything_?

Most have joked that ' _lol theyre probbaly banging or smth_ ' or ' _maybe theyre planning a wedding lmao phans real everyone '_ and god , he wished they were true . He wished that he was with Phil now . He regretted his stupid mistake that envy drove him to do . He wished that Phan _was_ real.

But his stupid fingers opened the ' _missed calls ' ,_ playing the messages Phil left for him. He tapped on the very last message Phil sent , which happened to be the 26th one .

" _Dan._ " He was sobbing . He was chocking on his own tears , panting . His voice was sore , obviously from excessive crying. " _Dan please. I miss you. So much. Please , please please please Dan come back home. I miss you so much you don't even know . I'm so sorry for being so stupid I don't love her more than I love you. dan please come home i miss you , I love yo-- Dan . dan. Please come home . I miss you so much , Dan I don't even know what to do without you Dan please you don't understand . I need you. dan. 7 years , dan. please don't do this to us . dan . please dan , please. Dan I miss--- "_

_Stop._

Playing these clips was like suicide . He was soon killing himself .

A Twitter notification popped up .

_@ Danisnotonfire Come back please I don't care if this is public I just miss you Dan pla se_

Dan wanted to yell at Phil for tweeting that publicly . But he knew he was desperate , he didn't even care if anyone would see it . He just wanted Dan to _respond ._ But Dan was so _cruel_ not to respond.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

And of course, within a couple of seconds there were thousands of reply .

' _Omg what happened '_

_' DAN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO COME BACK TO PHIL RN '_

_' did you two fight of something '_

_' PHIL AR EYOU OKAY OHMGDO '_

_' wtf did Dan do this time '_

_' DAN WHAT THE HELL ID YOU DO TO PHIL '_

_' wow this is some phan drama '_

Long story short , Dan cried himself to sleep.

_What have I done?_

-

2 weeks.

2 weeks and nothing from Dan.

Their fans were worried about them , constantly asking them questions of what was going on . Of course , Phil didn't respond . He was too busy trying to contact _Dan_ through any means of communication . He tweeted public tweets and tagged him several times , hoping that he'd reply . He couldn't take this anymore.

He took out the camera .

He knew what he needed to do.

-

_AmazingPhil uploaded a new video : i miss you_

In a matter of seconds , there were at least 15k views ; 4k comments . Like and dislikes didn't really matter . The comment section was either a bunch of fans mad at Dan , a few comforting Phil and etc. Dan clicked play.

There's no script to this , obviously . It starts off with a teary eyed Phil , eyes bloodshot red and hair messy. It seems like he hasn't been taking care of himself .

" _Dan._ " He whispered , voice hoarse. " _I'm really sorry. If you're watching this video , please . Please come back. I'm begging you , please . You have no idea how much I miss you. I've--- I've realized how much I can't survive an entire day without you . Without knowing where you are , without knowing that you're safe . Please. Please reply to me. I miss you so damn much , I know I've s-said that for like . . . a bajillion of t-times but I do mean it . I miss you._

 _Thing is , I've a-always loved you Dan. Haha , "_ A hopeless chuckle , tears forming in his eyes as he forced on a smile . Oh , Phil . Even when things were in a horrible state , he _always_ managed to smile. " _It feels good to finally say that . B-But really . . . Please . dan. I'm a horrible person. I must've hurt you . I know you didn't like her . I should have done something . I should have talked to you before . I'm not mad. I just -- I just miss you , okay? Please. Come back home._

_I miss you. "_

_-_

_3 weeks without Dan._

Even though things were in a horrible state at the moment , Phil _still_ managed to host a live show . He wasn't looking great , but he needed a break with his fans . As soon as he started , a _lot_ of them were telling them to end the show and rest . They've all seen the video , it seems . A lot of them told him to close the cam and take a rest from everything he's been through . He was a mess.

" I-I'm fine guys , really. " He lied , smiling . His hair was a mess , it wasn't in it's usual straight and nice fringe . He didn't bother to fix it or whatever . " Hey , this _is_ my break. Me with you and all-- H-haha . "

The liveshow didn't go well despite Phil's condition . Some asked him about Dan , but most of them tried to drown those questions by a variety of random ones; inquiries about puppies , hamsters and everything else that wasn't Dan . Phil answered most of them but was stuttering most of the time , the pain in his chest aching .

_Seems like my fans won't suffice ._

_I need Dan. Not them . I love them , yeah- But Dan. I want Dan. I miss Dan._

After a while , Phil heard footsteps . He was assuming it was going to be Louise , PJ or Chris . Or maybe all of them. They had been helping Phil as well , searching for Dan or helping him soothe the pain . Though he was thankful for their help , it wasn't enough . He needed _Dan_ and only _Dan._

Someone stated that they could hear footsteps , too . " Yeah , it's probably Peej or C-Chris . " Phil said , a titter slipping out of his lips . The chat suddenly exploded with ' OMG ' s and ' DAN !!!! ' s . Phil looked behind , only to find a pair of cinnamon eyes . The same eyes he loved looking at , staring at for an eternity .

It was Dan.

Phil hurriedly stood up from where he was , wanting to run over and embrace Dan . He wasn't even mad. He just missed him. He didn't care that the chat was still on.

" Dan , I- "

But before Phil could even finish his sentence , Dan had immediately shoved him up the wall and captured his lips with his . There was so much _passion_ in the kiss; desire , sadness , regret , remorse- Phil didn't even care. He pulled Dan by his collar and just _kissed_ him hungrily , kissed him as if they were going to die after the kiss . He didn't even acknowledge the fact that the goddamn _camera_ could see , therefore about 14.5k people were watching their passionate makeout session . They looked like they were going to fucking strip right there , but he didn't care . Dan had been craving Phil's touch and vice versa . They kissed and they kissed and they _kissed ,_ till one of them had to pull away for oxygen.

Foreheads touching , blue staring at brown . Phil's smooth , creamy fingers cupped Dan's cheek , wiping off the tears that trailed down .

" _I'm sorry._ " Dan whispered groggily , sobbing . His eyes were filled with remorse and sadness . " _I'm so sorry Phil . I didn't --- I don't . . . I don't know what got into me. It was jealousy . It hurt me seeing you with s-somone else , hurt me- "_

Phil softly landed his lips on Dan , shutting him up . He kissed him once again , pulling out reluctantly ." It's fine. " He replied , " What's important is _you're_ here. "

And they kissed again . Kissed again as if their kisses were the only things that kept them alive . Dan pulled Phil , wanting to lead him to his bedroom . Phil eagerly followed , but not before slamming his laptop shut .

They made so much passion , so much love .

They didn't need anyone else . They only needed each other.

 


End file.
